Across the Miles

It was 3:27am and every possible thought there was to think was floating through my mind, purposeless. Amidst all of the worry and fear and self loathing, I kept going back to how lucky I am to have someone in my life that understands me. 

Although it defies all logic, you understand my thoughts better than even I do. Despite my lack of rationality and my extreme judgements towards things that are foreign to me, you know exactly what I am thinking and why. Without having to explain myself, you decipher my words... you can tell the difference between my real and fake smile by a simple photo...you can hear the whole story within the tone of my voice, even when I cant bring myself to tell it. I don't know how you do it, and at times I hate that you have such abilities, but I am lucky to have you as my voice of sanity and reason. I am thankful to have someone that says the things I need to hear, whether I want to hear them or not. You remind me often of the person that I am, despite the definition that I have been led to believe by others. You make me feel beautiful; a feat no one else in my life has ever accomplished. 

What makes you so different? Why do you remember the things I said during drunken conversations 13 years ago? Why do you believe in me in ways no one else ever has? Why are you able to see the side of me that I try so hard to show others, without success? Most of all, unlike every other person, why have you not yet abandoned me? You are the voice in the back of my head that makes me push forward on days when I'm ready to give up. The insurmountable joy I feel when you tell me you are proud of me encourages me to be strong when I feel weak. I know that I do not fulfill any of the same needs in your life, partly because we do not share the same voids, but I like to think one day there will be some way that I can be there for you as much as you have been for me. I don't know what I did to deserve to have such a gracious and loving person in my life, and I'm not always sure that I have earned it, but I am forever grateful. 

I know you believe that you understand all the ways that I think but knowing the full extent of how much you mean to me may be the one rare thought that you will never truly be able to grasp. 

Forever and always, thank you.