Lessons

It's no secret that I do not want children. Everyone that knows me knows I do not wish to be a mother. Despite the number of times people tell me I will change my mind, this is one of the only things I am certain of in my life. I don't want to, nor do I feel qualified to, be responsible for the well being of another human being on this earth. With every life lesson I learn and with every tear I cry, I am reminded of how happy I am that I will not have to watch my child struggle through the same things. As an only child, I also will not have the opportunity to share my understanding of the world with nieces or nephews nor will I have to watch them struggle with life decisions, heartbreak, loss, love, etc.

If I were to share knowledge with my unconceived child or my nonexistent nieces and nephews though, I feel like the list of bullet points continues to grow by the day. Slowly all of the lessons my own mom tried to teach me are making sense. 

• Don't rely on others to define yourself. 
• Be confident in who you are yet open to understanding how others portray you. 
• Don't find your identity in temporary things (your car, your job, etc) or people. Those things come and go but your passions remain. 
• Feed your hobbies and talents for without them you are boring and bored. 
• Experience everything once... Try new foods, learn about things outside of your comfort zone, open your mind to varied ways of thinking. 
• Have opinions about things, as insignificant as they may feel, and stick to them despite what others think. 
• Know the kind of person you want to be or you will become the person everyone thinks you are. 
• Make family a priority and allow them to do the same for you. 
• Welcome a variety of types of people into your life as acquaintances but understand the true definition of a friend. 
•  Remain strong enough to keep yourself whole but allow yourself to admit to being broken when needed. 
• Surround yourself with people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself possible and who are willing and able to help you in that journey. 
• Don't trust everyone but allow yourself to open up to those who have proven that they care about you as a person and not just as a source of entertainment in their lives. 
• Give others the same amount of respect that you expect to receive from them. 
• Look at each day as a gift and an adventure as opposed to a routine. 
• Say your prayers and trust that they are heard. 
• Maintain the friendships you make in high school for those are the people that you chose to be friends with for various reasons. As you get older, your friends become a result of your environment and not necessarily because they are someone you have chosen.
• Leave your comfort zone. Often.