Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Sleep is supposed to be an escape from the world but my dreams are muddied by you. Last night, however, it's as if my brain finally caught on to the ways of the world and slowly pushed you to the side.

In my dream, I went off to explore an old ancient law office (you're old news and you live with a lawyer..) but I left my cellphone in the car. When I returned, I had a text message from you that said "I tried to call you several times." I recall looking at my call log and finding no missed calls but I was scared to say this in fear of being accused of calling you a liar. (always the case...) I responded to your message and said that I had left my phone in my car. Then I received 8 text messages from you back to back (8 is my favorite number) that said "Amber a bitch." (perhaps a nod at your tendency for typos in text messages)

And I woke up. Angry yet also relieved. Finally a dream where we weren't happily in love. Finally a feeling that my brain is allowing me to disconnect, slowly and in tiny movements.

~~~~
A dear friend shared a song with me last night that they thought I could relate to emotionally. I loved it and I think you would too.

Sam Smith - Stay With Me


Oh, won't you stay with me?
Cause you're all I need
This ain't love it's clear to see
But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?
No it's not a good look, gain some self control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

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