Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I wish you could remember that

Why do I still care?...

I feel like we should still be working as a team. I feel like we should be working together towards the mutual goal of making this work, not trying to prove it doesn't... not one person working and one person sitting in the dark, waiting and hoping. I think you should be allowed to have space and time but I think we should be on the same page. We should be trying everything until there's nothing left to try .. and THEN give up, knowing we have done everything possible. That's why I care and that's why I'm sad. We should be trying to do this together.

We aren't just boyfriend and girlfriend. We committed our lives together years ago when we made long term plans and purchases. Its not as easy as just walking away when it gets hard and we both know that. A player cant just quit the team and pack up their locker every time he doesn't agree with a decision the coach has made. Neither of us deserve to be miserable for the sake of convenience, please don't misunderstand the point I'm making. But, we both owe it to each other to follow through with our commitments and give it our best shot whether that means taking space, going to counseling or eventually cutting ties completely. We are way too invested in each other and have proven that we have the ability to make each other happy (if you cant remember those times, read my old blog links.. we were so happy.. I wish you could remember that). Our issues aren't all about "us"... we both have our own. Those individual issues cause the "us" issues.. and will continue to cause "us" issues with anyone else in the future if not resolved.

You need space. I get it. I just hope you're not tuning out the things I'm saying, the thing I think you need to hear, just because you don't want to hear them. You cant run from your problems forever.

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