"Everyone Hates You"

You said none of my friends like me; that everyone hates me. You said the people that are in my life are only sticking around because they are scared to tell me they don't like me and scared to have to deal with the 'wrath' of me. You said it's not normal to constantly have people getting mad at me or disliking me. You said my 'friends' are constantly trying to hint to me that they don't really like me but that I'm too stupid to catch on.

You think that just because my friends don't like certain things about me or don't mind calling me out on my faults means they don't like me. Instead, I think this is a sign of a real friend - someone that can be honest. I admitted that I screwed up a lot of friendships along the way and some people grew to dislike me or remove me from their lives. Those people were never my true friends to begin with.. those people are not a true reflection of my ability to make and maintain friends.

You do not connect with anyone in your life on an emotional level. You talk about sports and current events and that's as deep as it goes. Even with the people you call your 'friends' you don't talk to them about your personal life and you don't ask them questions about theirs. When you connect with someone emotionally, and allow them to see the real you, you are going to say or do things the other person doesn't like. That doesn't mean they don't like you or value your friendship. This is why you don't dislike anyone in your life (...other than me..) and aren't disliked... you cant make or become an enemy if you're never going beyond the surface with people. I think you have acquaintances and coworkers, but I wouldn't consider them friends.

You knew this was a weak spot with me. You knew I was self conscious about my difficulties in finding and being a real friend in life. I spent many years simply revolving my life around you and not placing any emphasis on having friends. When you abandoned me, I realized just how important it was to have people around that cared for me; people that would do anything for me, even if it meant telling me what I didn't want to hear. It took me months of therapy to finally feel deserving of having friends.. to finally realize that people were my friend because they wanted to be, not because they pitied me. I am not going to allow you to take that away from me.